OH MY GOD! EDWARD IS IN MY MATH CLASS!
by Ghislaine Cullen
Summary: The title kind of explains the whole thing...Rated T because I don't want to get caught by the rating police. Canon pairings, post B.D. And I would sure like some reviews! D Hmmm... I still have room in this summary...lalalalalalalala... OK, not anymore.
1. Shoveling the Stupid Snow

Why did we get a corner house? I mean, it's not as if there are any _benefits_ to having a house on the corner! And this house isn't even that good! It's big and all, but when we got it, the interior decorating gave hints that its previous owners were a few eggs short of an omelet, if you know what I mean.

And now, I'm stuck shoveling the two – not one, but two – sidewalks that surround the dumb corner house. Fun, fun.

I was shoveling the little section where the sidewalk meets the crosswalk when I saw a black, fancy car drive by. It had tinted windows. I didn't know they even _had_cars like that in this city. Well, I suppose, all the doctors from the clinic, duh, of course there are fancy cars.

Being as obsessed as I am, all this talk of fancy cars and tinted windows and doctors got me thinking about Twilight again. Edward Cullen is so hot. It would be so awesome if he was driving that car. Stupid tinted windows. I could just imagine; him driving and Bella in the passenger's seat, going to… well, I don't actually know. Oh, well, it's not like it was actually them.

EPOV

We were driving to the grocery store, to get some food for Jacob. Instead of simply being a prop, like I was used to, human food was becoming a necessity. A necessity that was constantly running out, thanks to his appetite.

"Can you go any faster? I'm starving." In emphasis to his statement, his stomach growled. Loudly.

His remark was directed at Jasper, who was driving. He growled, annoyed by Jacob's need for food.

"Jacob, we're going as fast as we can, relax." Thank God Nessie was sitting next to him in the back seat. She was the only person who could distract him from food.

"I know, I know," he replied. Those two were a little too comfortable back there for my taste. I bristled.

_Calm it down, Edward, _thought Jasper, sensing my distress, _they're just sitting._

Just sitting. Yeah. Uh-huh.

And that's when I heard it. The foreshadowing of the trouble that would ensue in this tiny Midwestern city.

_Edward Cullen is so hot. Stupid tinted windows. _A picture of Bella and I driving along in the car followed. My eyes widened in alarm.

_Edward, what is it?_ Jasper was suddenly anxious, as well.

"It's nothing, Jasper." The thought had come from a young girl shoveling snow outside. A quick look revealed nothing unusual; her cheeks were flushed with red, and her eyes were an unassuming hazel color. She'd probably heard about me before, or seen me at a previous trip to the grocery store. That was really the only explanation. We wouldn't be starting school yet until tomorrow. Yes, she had seen Bella and me before, and she thought I was attractive, and that was it. Of course. There was no other explanation.


	2. Math in the Morning

I was barely awake as I walked through the halls of the high school the next morning – too early for my liking. I kept my eyes on the ground, navigating around people's feet. Not because I was _that_ shy. I was a _little_ shy, normally, but I actually went to the middle school for most of the day. No, I was not held back, thank you very much. I was normal, eighth-grade-age, but I went to the high school for first period geometry. And all those tall people scared me. They blocked out the light! You'd be scared, too!

It was also a little weird because I didn't actually have a locker here, so I had to bring my coat and bag –including my other books – into class with me. I was actually really proud of my bag. I'd found it at the mall, at a movie store, and it was the second-to-last one left. Can you believe that?!? Anyways, it had "TEAM EDWARD" in fancy letters on one side and Robert Pattinson's face on the other. Now do you see why I like it so much?

I sat in my usual seat next to Clara, the other eighth-grade-person-in-ninth-grade-math, giving her a smile that didn't match my sleepiness. She smiled back, and went back to reading her book. And I thought again how sad it was that her mom wouldn't let her read Twilight. Poor, deprived girl.

Anyways, I set my TEAM EDWARD bag on the floor and took out my math book. Usually, I start reading the next chapter, so I don't have to take notes while Mr. Yanke taught the lesson. But while I bent over to get my books, I saw something amazing.

I just about died.

No pun intended.

It was Edward Cullen. No kidding. Robert Pattinson hadn't done him justice. Which is saying something, because Robert Pattinson is _**HOT**_. But Edward Cullen is _**EXTREMELY TRIPLE DOUBLE QUADRUPLE HOT.**_ And he had incredibly pale skin. And golden eyes. And big lines under his eyes. Hole. Eee. She. Uht.

I mean, he probably wasn't _really_ Edward Cullen. He just looked like him. A lot. A lot, a lot. But he wasn't Edward Cullen. Because that would be impossible.

Except there was a girl sitting next to him. Who had equally pale skin and dark lines and golden eyes. And dark, wavy hair. Which, I imagine, would have red in it if shown in the sun. And I'd probably never see it in the sun for obvious reasons.

What am I saying? I sound like a crazy person!! Maybe there _is_ such a thing as being too addicted to Twilight. Oh my gosh, did I just think that?!?!?!?!? I just have too big an imagination. That's it. And I shouldn't have stayed up until two rereading Eclipse. Again.

Because she wasn't Bella. That would be 100% completely impossible. COMPLETELY. Right? Right. Right. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Ok, Laney, now, you _lean_ over and get your books out of you bag. Good girl. And now open you book. Nice. Now get you notebook…

I passed through the fifteen minutes before class doing that. I even got started on my assignment. But if you asked me what it was about, I couldn't tell you. I'd probably say it was about Edward Cullen. Because that was really all that I noticed. I kept stealing glances at him. I'm pretty sure I freaked him out.

But, eventually, as the other students started filing in, I got control of it. I was doodling little pictures of vampires on my notebook paper, sure, but at least I stopped looking at the poor guy. Who wasn't Edward Cullen. He probably has sensitive skin. And was born with natural good looks. And stayed up really late. Hey, maybe he reread Eclipse, too!

Yeah, _the frick_ right! I only knew of two guys in my class who had read Twilight. Not even the whole series, just the first book(insanity!)! And they were accused of being gay because of it! (Much props to Joel and Wyatt, by the way.)

I had almost distracted myself from the stupendously Edward-like new student when Mr. Yanke said, "We have two new students in our class today, Edward Cullen and Isabella Hale."

Oh. I get it.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

We'd arrived at school relatively early, to finish any paperwork left over. Surprisingly, there wasn't any, and Bella and I proceeded to our first class - Geometry with Mr. Yanke. I had no idea how to pronounce his name.

When we reached the room, there was only a single student present - a dark-haired girl reading a book called Vampire Kisses, which she was completely absorbed in. But that's perfectly fine. People read vampire fiction all the time. I'm pretty sure.

_I was hoping I wouldn't have any of those adopted kids in my class. Well, at least they're not **too** emo. Like Bret. That kid creeps me out. _He warily told us that we could sit anywhere, and we chose two adjacent seats towards the back.

"I'm nervous," said Bella. This was her first move.

"You get used to it in time," I comforted in response.

She smiled, and again I wondered at how she had become mine.

I smiled back.

_Too. Frickin'. Early. _A thought from someone standing near the door.

The girl walked in wearing a coat and carrying a bag. I barely had enough time to think that was strange before I noticed that her bag read Team Edward.

I forced myself to calm down. It was probably a band - band names were getting crazier and crazier these days - or an actor. Or something else.

As she took her seat next to the dark-haired girl, I noticed that she was the same girl i had noticed yesterday on our grocery excursion. Which, by the way, was a fiasco. A long story for another day. She set her bag down, shrugged off her coat, and leaned over to pick her books up.

And then her mind went blank with shock. And she was looking at me. People usually aren't _this _excited to have me in their class.

_Robert Pattinson hadn't done him justice. _What?!? Who is this Robert person?!? _Which is saying something, because Robert Pattinson is **HOT**. But Edward Cullen is **EXTREMELY TRIPLE DOUBLE QUADRUPLE HOT**_

She took in all of my unusual characteristics. The ones that marked me as a vampire.

_Hole. Eee. She. Uht._

Holy shit, indeed.

_I mean, he probably wasn't really Edward Cullen. He just looked like him. A lot. A lot, a lot. But he wasn't Edward Cullen. Because that would be impossible. _That was strange. How was it impossible for me to be me?

And then her next thought made my blood run cold. Yes, I know that that's a horrible metaphor, but it was either that or "all the color drained from my face." Moving on.

This human knew more than was good for her.


	3. Silent Screams

**Sorry it took me so long to write this. I _did_ actually write it once already, but somehow it didn't get saved, which angered me a LOT. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. (duh)**

* * *

It was a hoax! A propaganda trick! Fake! A lie! Not real!

It was probably some study made by behavioralists. To see how people would react.

And the male model guy was probably one of those people who only know about Twilight because they saw the movie. And they become all "Oh, I'm the biggest fan, just because I read all the books and saw the movie once or twice!"

I hate those people. (No offense to those people, I just don't really like you.)

Wait, wait, said my brain. Get back to the matter at hand.

Woah, this is so weird, getting distracted from thinking about Twilight by Twilight. I usually just get distracted from normal stuff by Twilight. Constantly.

LANEY!!!!! FOCUS!!!!!

Thank you, brain.

Anyways...

Wait -

I always used my bag as a purse on weekends, not able to bare being away from it for too long. The last time I'd used it, it had been at Ali's sleepover, where we were **_TAKING PICTURES._**

I tapped my TEAM EDWARD bag with my foot, looking for the tell-tale camera-sized bump.

Tap, tap. Tap, tap. Tap -

Wait a second, was that it? I slid off my shoes (Thank the Lord for clogs) and ran my stocking foot over the camera-sized bump.

If I wasn't in a classroom full of students, I would have screamed really, really loud.

**_I'D ACCIDENTALLY BROUGHT MY CAMERA TO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

This was _not_ what I'd been expecting.

At all.

In the slightest.

This situation was the epitome of that old saying, "expect the unexpected."

_What? Huh? He says he's Edward Cullen? No freaking way._

_Edward Cullen.... that rings some bells..... Oh! He's that guy Hanna keeps talking about. She is completely obsessed._

The girl I'd noticed before was screaming in her head. Okaaaay.

_Edward Cullen?_

_HE SAYS HE'S EDWARD FRICKING CULLEN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!_

_WHAT did he just say?_

_ - Edward Cullen?_

_ - Edward Cullen - _

_Edward Cullen?_

Although no one said anything outright, I could hear them thinking it.

We had to leave. Immediately.

Once the bell had finally rung, I jumped up, tugging Bella's arm. She didn't resist, having seen the looks people were giving us.

We had to get out of there.

We'd gotten through the door and into the hall when -

"Could I take your picture?"

* * *

**Guess who said _that!_ **


	4. Happenings of the Hallway

**Thanks to everybody who reviewed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Disclaimer: OK, I think you know what I'm going to write here, and to be honest, I'm getting sick of writing it, so just see the last chapter's disclaimer, alright-y?**

* * *

He looked surprised.

Well, if you come to school pretending to be Edward Cullen, you should be prepared for some crazed fans. At the least.

"Uh... sure." Uh sure! He even _sounded _like Edward! Not what he said. His voice, I mean. Velvet and all that.

I snapped a quick one of him. And then one of "Bella." And then one of them together.

"Say hi to Emmett and Jasper for me!" I waved. When I got to the exit, they were still standing there. "Good luck with Nessie!!!"

OK. I can die now.

WAIT! I have to see Breaking Dawn as a movie first!

OK, I can _almost_ die now.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

We'd walked around a little, until we'd found the others.

"Alice, how could you not see any of that? I mean seriously! I was mauled! Again!"

"Em, how can you compare _that_ to getting mauled by a bear?" Alice replied petulantly.

"Compare what to getting mauled by a bear?" Bella inquired.

Jasper, who was holding back laugher - barely - said, "He was attacked. By girls. In Gym. They jumped."

Rosalie was a little put out about that.

Despite the urgency of the situation, I laughed, too.

_Edward, it's not funny! _Emmett and Rose thought simultaneously.

And then recalled what the girl had said about Renesmee.

We'd have to get her out of the middle school.

Now.

* * *


	5. A Very Cullen Conversation

**Disclaimer: See chapter 1 or 2 or 3, whichever**

**On with the show!**

* * *

I saw Vanessa Wolf. I should make T-shirts for a living.

**_AND I GOT A PICTURE!!!!!!!!!!!_**

It was really weird taking a picture of someone my own age. I don't know why. It was a lot weirder than taking a picture of someone who's older than you. Hmmm...

She left halfway through the day, before lunch, which was probably a good thing. If she'd stayed, I would have forced her to sit at our lunch table. Probably.

"Did you _see_ her?" I asked immediately as I sat down at the lunch table, next to Emily and Maddie and across from Kara.

"No!" Kara said forlornly. "I wish I had! Everyone keeps talking about her, and I feel really sad I didn't even get to _look at_ her!"

"Who?" inquired Ali from two seats down.

"Oh, God, she was in my Spanish, and I almost _died!!!_" Emily's eyes were wide as she spoke. "At first I just thought it was a resemblance, but when Mr. Morse said who she was… yeah, I died."

"Who?" Poor, Twilight-deprived Ali.

"I saw her in the hall. I'm so mad. I didn't imagine her like that _at all!!_" Maddie seemed as infuriated by the imposters as I was.

"Who?"

"Really?" Emily was incredulous. "I kind of thought she looked just like that. You know, later on."

"WHO ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!" Ali practically yelled.

"Vanessa Wolf?" I gestured with my hands in an attempt to make her understand. I don't think it was working. "The new girl? A.K.A. Renesmee Cullen? A.K.A. vampire/human hybrid daughter of Edward and Bella? A.K.A. Twilight?"

"Ohhhhhhhhh…" I think she got it. Maybe. "But, isn't she like, _fictional?"_ She thought we were all crazy.

"Well, yes." Maddie was always better at explaining things than we were. "But when there was, like… a problem with the Volturi… the vampire police, kinda, Bella had to make a fake I.D. for Renesmee. And her fake name was Vanessa Wolf. That was in Breaking Dawn."

"Yeah, still kinda fictional."

"Well," Maddie stated the obvious, "Now there's this girl walking around school pretending to be Vanessa Wolf - "

"A.K.A. Renesmee Cullen."

"Laney! We get it!" Kara could be a bi-atch when she wasn't being nice.

"Sorry, I just like saying 'A.K.A.'"

"You're such a loser."

"Enough with the verbal abuse, now." Maddie, however, was usually very polite. Just don't give her **_any_** Mountain Dew. She'll just about spontaneously combust.

"So, we've got fictional-character-is-alive syndrome?" I always told Ali she could be a doctor.

"No, we're not _that _obsessed." Emily leaned over her Twilight coffe cup. Which I was going to steal from her while she slept. Some night. When she least expected...

Ali gestured at the cup. And then at my Cullen Crest shirt, which i just so happened to be wearing that day.

"OK," said Kara. "We're still obsessed, but not certifiably insane obsessed, that's just Laney."

Like I said, _bi-atch._

* * *

**Edward's POV**

After leaving the high school - we didn't think an explanation was necessary, seeing as how everyone there was at least partially insane **(AN: Twilight Fevah, Edward, get used to it.)** -Bella and I drove to the middle school to pick up Renesmee.

We'd attracted a few odd glances, though thankfully no one took our picture, before we made our way to the main office.

_Holy Mother of Maracas! _thought the secretary. I can't say I've ever heard that before. _What a hunk-a-licious __man! _

Nor that one.

"Why, hello there," she said, emphasizing the last syllable of hello with a flip of her hair. At least I assume it was a flip. It was hard to tell, because her hair was so short and full of hairspray that it didn't actually move.

"Hello, we were wondering if it would be possible to take Ness- Vanessa Wolf out of her classes." I smiled, being careful not to show my teeth, and her heartbeat increased.

"Oh, you can do whatever _you_ want," she replied. _What**ever**_.

A few awkward moments passed, during which I twisted my arm around Bella's waste.

_Oh. Stupid, young chick. I bet he likes older women. _

"Could you please make an announcement?" Bella spoke for the first time. Her eyes were narrowed and her voice was tight.

"Mmm-hmm." The secretary pursed her lips and bent her eyebrows like they were a piece of wire. Small, angry pieces of wire.

But, she picked up the telephone and said "Vanessa Wolf, please come to the office. Vanessa Wolf to the office."

Once Nessie came in, we were out of there before the secretary could flip her hair again. Or try to.


	6. A Problem on the Porch

**Disclaimer: See first chapter**

**OK, just a warning:**

**This chapter contains the F word. It's censored, but if that bothers you, I suggest you stop reading and skip to the next chapter to find out what happens.**

* * *

Someday, when I'm a famous whatever, I'm going to invent something that can take the ice off of sidewalks.

Because apparently, a shovel just isn't enough.

That day, I slip-slided my way home, barely able to keep upright, because no one could pick me up. God, I can't wait 'til I get my driver's license. In three years. Sigh.

And I was cold. Really, _really_ cold.

So I was really happy when I got home.

I sat down on the couch in front of SpongeBob (nothing's ever on after school), under a blanket, and behind a bag of M&Ms.

I like me some M&Ms.

And I was just about to eat a handful when there came a knock at the door.

What if it's that guy who keeps calling me?

What if it's a weird person?

What if it's a serial killer/rapist? Like in Port Angeles?

It would be safer to just eat my M&Ms.

I scooped up the handful and was about to eat it when the knock came again, more urgently this time.

What if it was my mom, locked outside? Oh, she'd be _mad._

I got up, set down my M&Ms, and turned off SpongeBob.

I opened the door and then closed it again.

Oh, my God. I am completely insane. What are my parents going to say about this?

_We told you you were too obsessed with Twilight._

Well, I just wouldn't tell them about this.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

We were just about to leave when the question of how we'd been exposed popped up. It just popped up, all by itself, because on the Urgency List, it was probably number two, number one being to get out of there.

But it was still very, very important.

_How could they have found out? _wondered Carlisle.

"I don't know."

_Edward, what about the Volturi? They'll be... mad. _I saw the vision in Alice's head and shuddered.

_What should we do?_

_Where should we go?_

_Who should we ask?_

Although those questions weren't directed at me, I'm pretty sure that I knew the answer to the last question. The person who seemed to know the most.

And that was why we could be found knocking the door of Frightening Camera Girl's house.

When she opened the door, her face shifted to a look of absolute horror. And then the door closed again.

I could tell what was coming, and placed my hands over Renesmee's ears, although I knew that wouldn't really help.

"F%$# the F%$# my F%$#ing F%$#!!!!!! F%$#er McF%$#er the F%$# F%$# F%$#!!!!!" She had meant it to be quiet, but of course we'd heard it all. Including, to my dismay, Renesmee.

I pursed my lips.

Jacob was laughing. I glared at him.

Inside, her heartbeat sped up, and I could hear a thump as something hit the floor.

* * *

**Oh, no, what happened?!!!!!!!!?**

**It's in the next chapter, of course!!!!**


	7. Ah, Crap, Not Again

**This is dedicated to Emily Popcorn - Head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who, if she ever gets a fanfic account, may or may not be known as Artemis Cullen. That's what she wants to be called, but I'm not sure if someone else took it or something.**

**And it's dedicated to her because she yelled at me to get it done.....**

**Anyways,**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, I know. See chapter 1.**

* * *

You know when you close your eyes and rub your eyelids really hard and it gets all colorful, like a kaleidoscope? I used to love doing that...

But now, little specks of kaleidoscopic-eyelid-closing color were appearing in front of my open eyes, accompanied by a feeling of nauseousness.

_Oh, God, _I thought, _please, please, **please **don't throw up now! Not when there's people on the other side of this door!!!!!_

I let loose a few choice swear words. Well, only one word, really. A couple times.

While I still had a bit of vision left between specks, which had now congregated to form a heavy black-purple-pink-blue-red cloud in front of my eyes, I saw the room shift violently forward...

And then it was black.

* * *

**And don't say that's unrealistic, because it happened in German, and I KNOW that's what it's like. **


	8. Internal Ipods and Fictional Doubts

**Disclaimer: I just realized; I don't actually have a disclaimer before Chapter 1! So... I own nothing. Yeah. **

* * *

I can't believe it had happened again.

And at such a crucial moment in my life, too!

Here I was, going insane, and I had to go and _fall down!!!!!_

No, I did not faint. I just fell down. That's it. Really.

Because after I ended up on the ground (OK, so maybe I don't actually remember the whole _falling_ part, but still, I just fell down.) I was perfectly fine. Well, a little woozy, but still fine. Really. I just had to sit down and put my head between my knees. That's all.

I was just about to get up off the floor - oh, God, I was in for one hell of a head rush - when I saw **_them_**. **_The _**them. Uh-huh. All ten of them!!!!! In my house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Standing next to the stairs!!!! Well, not all of them were next to the stairs, some of them were on the stairs, and standing around me, gaping. It was actually kind of weird.

I looked to my side, and saw that I had knocked over the table that normally stood next to the stairs. And all the flowers on it. And the library books that needed to go back.

Oh, this was just getting better and better.

"Oh, God." I placed my hand over my eyes, which I squeezed shut. And when I opened them, they would all be gone.

I took a little peek from between my fingers. Nope, still there. Just a few minutes more and -

"OK, I'm bored now." AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EMMETT!!!!!!!!!! JUST LIKE I'D THOUGHT HE'D SOUNDED WHEN I WAS READING THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!

"What book?" AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just about fell down again.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

What was wrong with this girl?

Why does she think she fell down when she clearly fainted?

And why did she faint in the first place?

And what was with the screaming in the head?

And why was she covering her eyes and playing - was that Fall Out Boy? - in her head?

"Why are you covering your eyes and playing Fall Out Boy in your head?" I inquired.

"OK, Mr. Edward, figment-of-my-imagination-head; I'm closing my eyes and using my mental Ipod to try to block out the crazy." **(AN: I do that sometimes...)**

"Okaaaaay..." This girl... was... there was something wrong with her! "What book?" I asked again, hoping to get a better response this time.

Her hands snapped from their position in front of her face to her hips, and she glared at me.

_"What. Book?" _She spat vehemently. "Did you just ask me _what book?"_

"Umm... yeah." I was thoroughly confused.

_Oh, God, he seems so much like Robert Pattinson in the movie... only hotter!_

"Okay, Crazy, what book do you keep talking about, who's Robert Pattinson, and **WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!?" **Somewhere between the beginning and the end of my statement, I had stood up and curled my fists into balls, scraping my palms with my fingernails. Jacob chuckled at my anger. I snarled back.

Seeing myself in her mind, the next thing she said was extremely surprising, because the girl exhaled deeply and asked, "Are you guys sure you're not fictional?"

* * *

**Anyways, I wrote and reread this chapter while sugar-high, and I'm sorry if it comes out totally incomprehensible. **

**P.S. Thanks to everyone who reviewed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**P.P.S. I like F.O.B.! **

**Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it...**

**(I'm sorry if offend anybody by putting that there. If you don't like F.O.B., just pretend I said some other band. Or artist.)**


	9. TWILIGHT

**Disclaimer: It's ALL Stephenie Meyer's. Yup.**

* * *

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it, somethin', somethin' beat it, beat it!

The internal Ipod was NOT blocking out the crazy.

Because, somehow, I was starting to get the impression that they were actually... there. They sure _felt_ there, as they walked silently behind me in the hallway. I couldn't actually see or hear them, but I could sense them taking up space. Like when someone puts their finger really close to, but not quite touching, the area between your eyes, and it hurts.

No? That's just me?

OK, then.

Anyways, they were there, just... being there, and we were going into my room. I was debating whether or not I would actually let them in, because I was afraid all the posters would scare them.

Well, not actually _scare_ them, they were vampires for Pete's sake. But they'd probably get a little freaked out.

"I'm just gonna... go in by myself, if that's OK with you?" I said when we got to the door, my voice breaking a little and my arms flailing robotically in the direction of my bedroom.

There were a few nods and shrugs and raised eyebrows, so I went in.

Once there, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and leaped onto the bed.

OK... so. Either a) I was going crazy, or b) they actually were, really really, actually literally real.

Option A, however unattractive, was seeming really, really probable right now.

Option B, though, was seeming more and more... not fake.

Like how Edward got mad at me downstairs. Imaginary Edward would _not_ do that. And how I fainted. I probably couldn't imagine that. Or exactly how they sounded when they talked.

I pinched myself. Ow. Well, I wasn't dreaming.

I got up and crossed the room until I was standing right in front of my bookshelf.

For a while, I just stood staring at the four books that chronicled the lives of nine not-so-fictional-after-all vampires, who, at the moment, were standing outside my very room.

Well, and one werewolf.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

I heard a succession of four thumps as the heavy tomes hit the bed.

_OK, so... they're real. What now?_

Without answering her own question, the girl appeared from behind the door with a bright smile plastered on her face.

"So... here they are!" She lifted them a little, so that the topmost one reached her nose.

I reached out and grabbed the topmost one, hearing her heart speed up as I did so. It was battered and torn, and featured picture of two pale hands caressing an apple on the cover.

_Twilight._

* * *

**The End......**


End file.
